June 18th, 2013. Exactly 6 months after my sweet mother went to be with the Lord. I had a vivid dream I’ll never forget. It seemed more real than life.
The last days of her life she was shorter than me. ( she always stood about 3 inches taller than me) The cancer had worn her body so that she was significantly shorter than me. Her frail little 87-pound body was tired and weak.
She died 3 days before her 42nd birthday.
6 months after her death. I saw her.
She was vibrant in energy and she was glowing like through sunshine. Her skin was rejuvenated. Her hair was lush golden red. Her eyes were bright blue and clear, they were sparkling. Her smile was perfect. Everything about her was wonderful.
All I could ask her in the dream was “How are you here? I know she died, but yet she was standing there alive and well. She just looked down with her head tilted sideways with her crooked smile.
In my dream, I had my little brother, who was only 2 at the time.
I was wanting just to be with my beautiful mother. I didn’t want to waste a single moment.
I was waiting for her answer my question, “how are you here?” But she didn’t answer. She just looked down and smiled at my brother playng at our feet. I was astonished.
It was then that I changed my question. “How is it?” I asked. Somehow we instantly knew we were both talking about heaven.
She said, “Oh Tonya it’s beautiful.”
Then she began to cry and tears filled her eyes.
She told me she went past hell.
She could hear the screams of people being tortured. It was darkness.
Wiping away her tears, she said “but I went past all that,” as she shook her head.
And then she began to smile vibrantly. She began to describe heaven. “Heaven is so beautiful, Tonya. You have to come here. It is so beautiful. It’s nothing like you’ve ever seen. Just come. Just come.”
I asked her, “Mom I thought you were going to be healed.
She replied: “God asked me if I wanted to come back, I told Him I want to stay.”
I could hardly believe her statement.
I remember grabbing my forehead. Her words surprised me so. I said (in a voice of shock and disappointment), “mom really you didn’t want to come back?” But yet somehow I knew why she chose to stay.
Because I felt the love and peace of God all around me and it was magnificent.
She urged me saying: “You just have to come. Oh, Tonya, you’ll love it. It more than anything you can imagine. It’s so beautiful here.”
I remember looking down, picking my brother up a d bouncing him on my hip. He was getting antsy and impatient.
“I have to stay here”, I replied.
Then I woke up and I felt God all around in my bedroom. All I could do was worship God and cry. It was so real.
This experience happened in 2013. I’ll never forget it. It was the love of God I felt. It was as if God gave me just a taste of what she is experiencing.
I hope someone is encouraged today.
Last month, I read Heaven is Beyond Your Wildest Expectations by Sid Roth. Such an incredible book. Everyone of the people who had supernatural experiences of heaven in the book were either told to come back and tell your story or were asked if they wanted to stay.
So I believe She wanted to stay.
I had high hopes for my mother’s healing. It wasn’t a lack of faith. It wasn’t a lack of trust in god. God can move the day in which we cross into eternity up or move it back. That’s up to Him because He is sovereign. It’s what He wanted.
Submission is choosing to trust God even when you don’t understand.
A month before she died she prayed over her family. She was the one that needed prayer, but she was the one being courageous and strong in that moment. There wasn’t a dry eye in that hospital room. She was praying a blessing on all of her brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews. It was so touching seeing someone struggling to be so thoughtful at the same time.
She prayed an anointed prayer.
I remember that last night in the hospital room at her bedside. I was playing worship music and I felt God’s presence there. It was such a sacred moment. I had peace. It’s not what I wanted, but I submitted to His will.
It wasn’t what I imagined, but that’s when true relationship with Jesus shines through. When you don’t understand, but you trust Him regardless.
To die is gain. In the eyes of the lord precious is the death of his saints.
Live life purposefully and meaningful.
Live your life with eternity in view.
It’s not what we expected or wanted. Many other family members prayed the same prayers, but it was God’s appointed time.
It wasn’t a failure of our prayers.
It wasn’t a lack of faith.
I was praying she would be able to live longer, but God moved her time up. It’s like He said, “This is a time that I have chosen that you have to accept.”
I had to trust Him and say “Ok. I’m still going to worship you, even though I don’t understand. I’m still going to praise you, but I don’t know what you’re doing. I’m still going to live for you, but I don’t like this.”
When we see another pass over into eternity we realize how thin the line is between here and there. It constantly reprioritzes our priorities to what matters most.
We remember how important eternity is. We don’t know what a day will bring. What a month, or year, or decade will bring.
We must be grateful for the moments we have.
When we live with eternity in view We value everyone and everything around us. We don’t have time to live with bitterness. Holding grudges. Being mad at the world. Resentfulness.
We must love while we can. We must work while it is yet day. We must pray with eternity in view. We must live with eternity in view. – Rev. Jason Scisco.
There is an occasion for everything, and a time for every activity under heaven: a time to give birth and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to uproot; a time to kill and a time to heal; a time to tear down and a time to build; a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance; a time to throw stones and a time to gather stones; a time to embrace and a time to avoid embracing; a time to search and a time to count as lost; a time to keep and a time to throw away; a time to tear and a time to sew; a time to be silent and a time to speak; a time to love and a time to hate; a time for war and a time for peace. I have seen the task that God has given people to keep them occupied. He has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also put eternity in their hearts, but man cannot discover the work God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and enjoy the good life. It is also the gift of God whenever anyone eats, drinks, and enjoys all his efforts. I know that all God does will last forever; there is no adding to it or taking from it. God works so that people will be in awe of Him. Whatever is, has already been, and whatever will be, already is. God repeats what has passed.
I hope and pray someone out there is encouraged.
Thank you for reading -Tonya